~ The Burglar and the Fiancée ~

By Jason Edward Collinge

Once upon a time, there was a poor man who lived with his fiancée  in a pigsty near the Metrotown Skytrain station. Every day, the man went to look for work. 

One day, while waiting fora bus to take him to an interview, he looked up from reading his book to check the sky. It looked like rain, but as he looked down the road for his bus, he caught sight of an

enormous truck speeding up the road toward him. 

To his surprise, a beautiful young lady, who wasn’t paying attention,stepped into the road. She was directly in front of the truck! Seeing the danger, the man leapt from his bench and pulled the startled young lady to safety.

When she had calmed down and ceased to shake from fear, the young woman thanked the man and said, “I’m just a regular girl and I don’t have much money, but please kind sir, let me give you something

for saving my life.” Before the man could answer, however, she added, “Um, however, if you knew who I was, you might not accept a gift from me. You see, I’m...I’m kind of a burglar.”

“Don’t worry. I’m not a police officer,” said the kind-hearted man, scratching his head and turning red with embarrassment.  “And, I don’t need anything...except maybe a job.”

The beautiful burglar thought the man must have been very kind. She thanked him again and kissed his cheek good-bye.

Having missed his bus because of the young lady, the man arrived late for his job interview and so did not get the job. Saddened by this turn of events, he decided to call it a day and headed home.

When the man returned home, opened the door, and stepped inside to take his rain-boots off, he greeted his fiancée  with a smile.

However, his fiancée  did not return his smile. Instead, she looked at the man sternly. “Don’t tell me!” bitched his fiancée  and pointed at him with a kitchen ladle. “Didn’t you find any work today?!”

The man hung his head. “No, dear,” he answered and then told her all about the young lady and the speeding truck. He told her how, after saving her and missing his bus, he had been late for the interview and so did not get work that day.

As the man talked, the man’s fiancée  grew angrier and angrier. Ignoring her husband’s lack of work, she focused on the young lady he had saved. “You mean you didn’t ask the woman for anything even though she offered to give you a reward for saving her life?!”

“No,” replied the man sadly and shrugged. “What would I need to wish for?” 

  “Well,” nagged his fiancée , holding out her left hand, “just look at my hand! What do you see? Hmmmm? A big, fat nothing! That’s what you see! We’re almost married and you have not even given me an engagement ring. If I had a diamond engagement ring, I would be much happier. You saved that burglar’s life. She should be grateful. Go on back tomorrow and ask her for my diamond engagement ring!”

“I’m not going to ask for a diamond ring! If I asked for a diamond ring, the woman would get angry.” Yet in the end, the man was more afraid of his fiancée’s anger.

The next day, as the rain began to fall, he went back to the bus stop

and waited until he saw the young lady walking toward him again. This time she was dressed in a beautiful full-length evening gown.

She smiled at him from under her

umbrella. “Hello again. Did you get your job?”

“Um, no,” replied the man and reluctantly told the beautiful burglar of the events following their meeting the day before. He told her about missing the bus. He told her about losing the job. Then he told her about his fiancée and how angry she had been when he returned home. “So you see, my fiancée wishes she had a diamond engagement ring,” he informed her.

“Here,” said the burglar and smiled as she opened her purse. “I think she will be very happy with this.” She held up the largest diamond

engagement ring the man had ever seen. “Give this to her,” she said as she placed the ring into the man’s hand, smiled again, and kissed him on the cheek good-bye.

When he returned home, the man found his wife sitting outside on their old lawn furniture. The scene was peaceful. The tall maple tree shaded them and music was playing on the old radio, which she had set in the window so she could hear it. The neighbour’s cat wandered through the yard and startled a squirrel. Birds chirped from their nests in the branches above. Everything was perfect except his fiancée was drunk. Two large bottles of wine, which she had emptied, lay on the grass beside her.

The man did not like what he saw, but he told himself that loved his fiancée – flaws and all. He knelt in front of

the chair and held up the ring to his fiancée.

She leaned forward, took the ring, and put it on her finger. “Yes, I guess it will do,” she said.

Things were fine for a week or two, but then one morning over breakfast, the man’s fiancée said, “Hmmm This ring is fine, but it doesn’t match the rest of my jewellery. It needs a necklace to go with it. If I had a diamond necklace to match my engagement ring, I would be much happier.  Go and ask the burglar for it.”

The man didn’t want to go, but he did. When he got to the bus stop, he saw the beautiful burglar coming toward him. This time, she was wearing a normal dress, but still looked very glamorous. The sky had darkened and a light rain had begun to fall. “My fiancée wishes she had a diamond necklace to match the engagement ring,” he sighed, and sadly told the burglar he suspected his fiancée was not being faithful.

“Here,” she smiled, took a necklace from around her own neck, and

placed it in the man’s open hands. “Give her this. I think it is just what she needs.”

The man thanked the beautiful burglar once more and returned home. As he entered the yard, he saw his fiancée saying good-bye to the neighbour and watched as the man crossed the street to his own home. As his fiancée turned to him, the man said to her, “Here dear. This is from the burglar.” He thought his fiancée would surely be happy now that she had the ring and the necklace.

The next morning, however, his fiancée woke, and turning to him, said, “I wish I had earrings to match the necklace and ring.”

“What?! Don’t you have enough already?” asked the man.

“No! Of course not. If I had earrings to match the necklace and ring, I would be much happier. If I had those, I would look beautiful when I went out at night. Go and tell the burglar to steal the earrings for me.”

This time, when the man arrived at the bus stop, the beautiful burglar was already waiting for him. She was dressed in blue-jeans and a t-shirt. She had no umbrella and she was shivering in the cold, pouring rain.

“What does she want now?” asked the burglar, knowing why the man had come yet again.

“Here,” sighed the beautiful burglar. She took the earrings from her own ears. “Take these. I think these are exactly what she needs.”

When the man returned home, he found his fiancée exiting his neighbour’s front door. He met her at the gate to their own yard and presented her with the requested earrings. “How nice for you that you have matching jewellery. Now you won’t need to wish for anything else.” Then he turned and went inside the house. He was not a stupid

“She wants earrings to match the ring and necklace,” said the embarrassed man and bowed his head in shame.

man and was angry that his fiancée thought she could hide her infidelity with the neighbour from him. However, if she were satisfied with the diamond earrings, she might not cheat on him anymore.

Yet, his fiancée was not satisfied. “If I had a matching bracelet,” she bitched, “I would be much happier. I am your fiancée and I demand you go back to the burglar and ask her for a diamond bracelet.”

Reluctantly, the man went back to the burglar and again received the gift for his fiancée.

  “Dear, now be satisfied,” pleaded the man. “You’ve got a complete

set of diamonds. There is nothing more you could wish for.”

His fiancée, however, wasn’t convinced. She kept thinking and thinking about what more she could get. Then one day, she said to him, “I wish to have an anklet. It’s not hers anyway. If I had a diamond anklet, I could show off everything at the beach. You want me to look good at the beach, right? Go right now and tell that burglar bitch to steal a diamond anklet for me. Then I will be much happier.”

“Oh, no,” said the man. “The burglar can’t do that. Every time I see her, she looks poorer and poorer. If I were you, I wouldn’t ask for

anything else.”

Yet, his fiancée became so furious that the poor man went back to the burglar at the bus stop.

This time, the beautiful burglar’s clothes were ripped and torn and she wore dirty running shoes with holes in them.

“Well, what does she want now?” sighed the beautiful burglar.

“She wishes she had a diamond anklet to wear to the beach,” the

man informed the burglar.

“I see,” said the beautiful burglar. “I think I know just what you need.”

“What would that be?” asked the man.

“Leave your fiancée and come away with me. If you come away with me, you will be much happier.”

  “You are right, but if I go home without the anklet, she will be

furious. I think her boyfriend also has a gun. I don’t think I can go home without the anklet.”

“Here,” said the warm-hearted burglar as she took out a cell phone and began to dial. “I think I know just what your ex-fiancée needs.”

The beautiful burglar dialed the Burnaby Police Station and told them of the diamond jewellery. “Yes, and if you

hurry, I think you can find her at her boyfriend’s house across the street right now.”

When the man returned home arm-in-arm

with the beautiful burglar, the sun was shining through the leafy-green trees on his street. They rounded the corner together and saw two police cars parked outside the neighbour’s home. Both the man’s

Smiling, one police officer held up the diamond jewellery. “This clears up the recent burglaries from my sister’s house. If it hadn’t been for that anonymous woman’s tip, we probably never would have found them.”

neighbour and his ex-fiancée had been arrested and wore hand-cuffs as the police led them from the neighbour's house.

The police officer waved to the new couple standing across the street. The beautiful burglar smiled and waved back. Then the police officers drove the two cheating lovers away to prison.

In the end, the jewellery really was just what the man’s ex-fiancée needed. It was also what the man really needed.

The man and his new fiancée, the police officer’s beautiful sister, turned and entered the man’s home together.

~ The End ~