this is dedicated to my fireplace for keeping me warm at night

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One day, Sir D Mugshot was strolling
on the beach when he ran into a meanie.sir d

"You finna get sum sun too?" Sir D asked.sir d

sir d

"No! You have a dumpy face and body",
the Meanie replied.

sir d :("What? That's rude!" Sir D fired back, quite sadly.

"I DON'T CARE!!!!" screamed the Meanie.

Amazed by the Meanie's lack of manners,
Sir D fell into a black hole.

OMG!

This is a plane. Sir D just wanted you to know.

sir dSir D magically teleported to his childhood
hometown of Compton.

sir d :O"Why am I back in the CPT?" Sir D wondered aloud.

"Sir D! What are you doing out here? It's late!"
Sir D's father yelled.

sir d

sir d O.OIt was at this point that Sir D realized that because of the
lack of manners displayed by the meanie on the beach, he was
teleported through time and space back to his childhood
so he could teach the kids reading this book about manners.
So, it mostly was a deus ex machina.

sir d"I MUST DO THIS FOR KIDS AND STUFF!" Sir D yelled.

sir dIn search of some lessons in manners to meet the requirements of this book,
Sir D teleported to the moon to ask some aliens.

weeeee

sir d"I am from another planet! GIVE ME MANNERS!" Sir D yelled!

much fly

"Oh, I know! You're Sir D Mugshot! You're a superstar! My name is Glock Glock
and I will teach you anything you need to know!" the alien gushed.

im old

sir d"Yay! Tell me about how to treat elders or something!"
Sir D excitedly blurted.

whoop

"Well, in our alien culture, we respect our elders as if they were our own bodies!
They usually are, in fact, as we are made up of the bones and matter
of our fathers and mothers after they pass into primordial soup! Anyway, you should
always treat all elders with respect, but some elders need different things!
For example, your mother might need help washing the dishes or various things
around the house! You all live there together, so don't put up a fight, just do what's
right! Your father might need help moving things or working on the car! Maybe even
just wanting to play catch with you! Make sure you always treat them nicely
and with love and respect! IT REALLY DOES MATTER!" the alien said in one breath.

wtf

sir d"What?" Sir D asked. He wasn't paying attention.

sir dDue to his ignorance, Sir D was relentlessly
whipped into another black hole. "YIS" Sir D
yelled.

wtf x2

tax day!

Sir D landed on tax day.
He doesn't even know what taxes are.

its my birthda

tax day!

sir d"I'm going to teach you manners about life!"
the headless taxman yelled.

tax day!

"Please! I would love it!" Sir D sensually says.

sir d

"Well, for example, you can't keep skipping out on
your taxes! Being late is rude and not an example
of good manners. When you are supposed to do
something, don't put it off until the last minute!
Little boys should show up on time to their classes,
just as all little girls should. It's just common sense!"
explained the headless tax man, probably talking
out of his neck-hole.

"That's all well and good, but I'm
still not going to file my tax return",
Sir D declared.sir d

Before he could be arrested for tax evasion,
Sir D was swept into another black hole.sir d ;)

Sir D was transported to his 3rd
grade talent show.

Author's Note: The following scene
was omitted due to extremely violent
and inappropriate content. You're
welcome.

Love, Fiddy and Caveman.

Still holding the maple
syrup, Sir D found
himself on a pirate ship.sir d

"ARGH me matey, why is a
landlubber like yeself on
me ship?" yelled a pirate.sir d

sir d"I honestly have no idea
anymore", explained Sir D.

"Allow me to explain why such an
act is rude", said the pirate, looking
quite fancy for a man without basic
knowledge of hygiene.

"Well, ye see, you need to plan activities
in advance with those around yeself. Ye
never know when a pirate like meself
might not take too kindly to ye magically
landing on this here ship. Boys and girls
alike must be good at planning so they
don't interfere with the plans of others",
said the pirate.

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