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Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, 

there was a man who lived in the burbs of a 

place called Philly. He was a simple man, 

though he longed for a better existence, and 

set his sights on a well-endowed mermaid 

across the sea. 

One day, the Philly man solicited the help of 

the minions waiting at his side. 

"That mermaid, the one they call scoobers, I 

will sex her if it's the last thing I do and 

liveblog it for all to read!"

The waiters nodded in approval. When the 

monster and mermaid solicited donations to 

expense the sexpedition, the waiters gleefully 

contributed. 

"Here." :D

"Take our moneys!" :lol:

(Make it rain on them hoes gif)

After reaching the funding goal for her 

dangerous quest into the depths of Philly, 

scoobers raced to engage in coitus with her 

dreamy prince: an attention-seeking virgin of 

modest social skills who dreamed of being 

deflowered before the internetz and making it 

big on TLS. 

"I hope phillywc enjoys IUD's, even if they feel 

like a miniature vaginal Freddy Kreuger 

maniacally slicing at his peen."

The two lovebirds met and had boring, dramaless 

sex. 

"Hehehe a real live TLSer is visiting me" ;) ;)

"Gaise, I have the biggest dick on TLS. JAG dog is 

second."

Oh, and phillywc bought, like, 85 condoms or 

something. 

(That means they fucked a lot.)

When the MASSES grew restless and began to 

leave the liveblog in DROVES, even demanding 

a refund, the Gods mercifully tried to bring the 

pitiful story to a close by threatening bans 

(when really, the mermaid and monster should 

have probs been euthanized).

The phillyman scoffed. 

"I'm not used to fucking with condoms. 

Probably took too long to cum."

"Honestly wasn't gonna be nearly so public 

before some asshole banned her and we had 

to liveblog it all for that person's 

entertainment."

"I really didn't think anyone outside of the few 

waiters we talk to would give a shit."

The attention whore was inexplicably getting 

negative attention, an unforeseen consequence 

of his blindly swinging at all who entered the 

thread to ridicule him. 

"We're not going to let you know the details of 

our INTENSELY private lives! Losers."

And, despite no one caring, the story went 

on...

and on...

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