This Book is Dedicated to All the People Who Hate This Unit Because
We're About to Turn That Frown all the
Way Upside Down
:D
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Last time, our heroes, Dante and Virgil were riding a monster
called Geryon
Arriving at the 8th circle aka Malebolge ("evil ditches"),
Virgil was all like, "let's carry on"
The ditches, in which there were 10, all had people who done
diggity some fraud
At first, Dante was all scared and whatnot, so Virgil said, "Cmon,
don't be a wad"
There is a place in Hell called Malebolge...Within this
place, down shaken from the back Of Geryon, we found
us; and the Poet (18.1, 19-20)

























Back in the hood, the neighborhood of Malebolge was all made
of iron-colored stone
And it has a cliff that's as huge as a triple whopper
surrounding that zone
The valley inside the cliff has those ten ditches protecting a
freaking castle
But, to get to it, crossing those moat-like ditches are prob
gonna be a hassle
Wholly of stone and of an iron colour...Between the well
and foot of the high, hard bank, And has distinct in
valleys ten its bottom. (18.2, 8-9)











Malebolge
Seducers
Flatterers













SimonistsDiviners, Astrologers,
Magicians
BarratorsHypocritesThievesFraudulent CounselorsSowers of ScandalFalsifiers

10 ditches means 10 sins, right yo? It all starts with those
seducers and flatterers, being all sneaky and sly
Followed by dem simonists, who kept selling holy thangs, so
God was all like, "Mang, for that, you gotta die"
Coming after, were the diviners, astrologers, and magicians,
AKA, the blaspheming crazy peeps who had no life
Next was da barrators where they cheated and conned all
day, e'ry day, and homie, they were in some deep sh...trife
While speaking in this manner, with his scourge a demon
smote him, and said: “Get thee gone Pander, there are
no women here for coin.” (18.65,66)












Malebolge
Seducers
Flatterers













SimonistsDiviners, Astrologers,
Magicians
BarratorsHypocritesThievesFraudulent CounselorsSowers of ScandalFalsifiers

Then came the hypocrites, saying they da most holy, only to
turn around and forsake God
Passing them it was the land of thieves, da fools who stole
everything from here to Cape Cod
Coming after them were the fraudulent counselors, who's goal
aint gonna be to help you pick out colleges
They selfish peoples who lie, trick, and do evil thangs to benefit
demselves, like gaining knowledges
"I am not able to refuse your asking. I am set down so far
because I robbed the sacristy of its splendid treasure..."
(24.136-138)











Malebolge
Seducers
Flatterers













SimonistsDiviners, Astrologers,
Magicians
BarratorsHypocritesThievesFraudulent CounselorsSowers of DiscordFalsifiers

Almost at the end are da sowers of discord, they're the fools who
start wars yet refuse to end them like real men
Meaning lawyers, religious leaders, etc, ya know the people who
puts dat false info in yo brain, amirite Ben?
Finally, the last ditch are the 4 types of falsifiers; alchemists,
impostors, counterfeiters, and liars (in the [La]hood)
They're all sorts of weird; changing metals, pretending to be others,
copying coins, and lying like planking wood
"There is Romena, where I counterfeited the currency
stamped with the Baptist’s head. For this I left my body
up there, burned. (30.73-75)







































The flatterers are chased by demons with whips while the
seducers are up to their necks in poop
But the simonists are head over heels (literally), not in love,
but fire so they're probs a grumpy group
The diviners, astrologers, and magicians have their head
backwards... guess they can't play ball
Still, better than the barrators who swim in boiling pitch with
demons on their heels, right y'all?
Up from the mouth of each hole there stuck out a sinner’s
feet and legs up to the calf, the rest of him remained
stuffed down inside. (19.22-24)































And the fools marching all over with da super swag (and
heavy) led coats are our very own hypocrites
But, at least they aren't stuck playing a twisted (heh) game of
tag with a band of stealing misfits
Oh, you thought the led coats were swag? Well the fraudulent
counselors have something that's even better
All of their clothes are on freakin fire, I mean that's like next
level, c'mon how cool is a burning sweater?
No o or i was ever written faster than that sinner flared
up and burst in flames and, falling down, completely
turned to ashes. (24.100-102)
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