#1

I had ONE goal during lunch: maximum chaos. Minimum dignity. Target acquired: Zakariyah.

He was just trying to talk to me about something normal, like… falafel or fractions or whatever.

But I held up my hand. “WAIT. I’m doing the thing.”

Zak blinked. “Oh no. Not the thing.”

“YES. THE THING.”

I stood directly in front of him, facing the same way, and as he started talking—I mimicked everything. Perfectly synced like a Disney animatronic.

Zak: “So anyway, I was thinking we could—”

Me (mouthing and doing his face):  “So anyway, I was

thinking we could—”

He stopped mid-sentence. “Lily, don’t—”

Me (blinking dramatically):  “Lily, don’t—”

He narrowed his eyes. “You’re not even mouthing right—”

Me (full dramatic gasp, spinning in slow motion):  “YoU’Re NoT eVeN mOuThInG rIgHt”

Then I went into full Zak-mode, really leaning into the impersonation. I dropped my voice to a low, dramatic pitch and added the perfect amount of snarky sass.

Me (imitating Zak): “I’m just so serious, okay? Like, math equations are basically my life. If I’m not calculating something, I’m just lost.”

I took a deep breath. “I like… dodgeballs. I dodge them like I dodge... bad vibes. And let’s not forget about my very prestigious career as the world’s most average human being.”

Zakaryiah laughed,“Lily, no—”

I continued(voice pitch rising with extra Zak-style drama): “I’ve got it all, baby! Caffeine, spreadsheets, and all the chill vibes you could ever need.”

I threw my hands up like I was on stage in an over-the-top Broadway performance.

I leaned forward, giving him extra sparkly anime eyes and voice syncing:

“I’m Zakariyah. I eat sparkly math equations for breakfast. I once dodged 17 glitterballs in a row. I cry during SpongeBob. And my ultimate dream is to be a professional dodgeball dodger, even though my skills are... subpar.”

Zakaryiah groaned, pouting,“I do not!”

Me: “He doesss!”

At this point, half the lunchroom was laughing, and a few people had even pulled out their phones to film me. Zak, on the other hand, was trying to hide under the table to escape my relentless teasing.

“Y’all don’t see me,” he muttered from beneath the lunch bench.

I leaned down, hands on my hips like the sassy puppet-master I was. “Any last words?"

He looked up, red-faced, and said, “Yeah. Womp. Womp.”

The entire lunchroom burst into hysterical laughter. I’d totally won this round. I was loving every second of it.

#2

After the whole “teacher is secretly a pet whisperer” moment, things at school got… different.

Everywhere me and Zak went, a herd of students followed us. Like full-on paparazzi with sparkly eyes.
Sploof (swimming in the air like a boss)
Blazie (doing spicy flips)

“Can I touch the orca now?”
“No.”
“Can I feed the phoenix?”
“No.”
“Can I just sniff them?”
*Crying emoji* “…what is wrong with you?”

I had to start carrying Sploof like a loaf of bread under one arm because people kept trying to pet him like he was a cloud plushie. He just blinked at them like, “You peasants.”

Zak ended up making a “DO NOT TOUCH THE BIRD” sign out of notebook paper and taping it to Blazie’s back. Blazie didn’t care. He was too busy basking in admiration and blowing smoke hearts.

At lunch, they couldn’t even sit down without someone asking:

"Are they single??"
"Are you single??"
"Are the pets single??"

Zak nearly faceplanted into his tray. “WHY WOULD THE PETS BE MATES AT THIS AGE—?!”

Lily just nodded sagely. “Sploof has high standards. 

Blazie sneezed a tiny flame at someone’s juice box.

Status: Coolest duo at school.
Downside: Zero privacy.
Upside: Their pets have more fans than the school mascot.

#3 I don’t know what hit me.

One second I was sitting like a normal, functioning student (well, normal for me), and the next—BOOM. The urge hit like a dramatic anime opening.

I slowly stood up on my chair.

Zak looked at me, already squinting like I’d committed a war crime. “Lily—what are you doing?”

“I have no idea,” I whispered back.

Then I lifted one hand to the ceiling like I was summoning the spirit of a karaoke ghost and let the chaos begin:

“아파트, 아파트, 아파트, 아파트!!” I chanted like a possessed K-pop star with zero choreo but 300% ener

gy. My hands started waving like I was casting spells made of glitter.

Zak was now straight-up horrified. “Stop. STOP. What is that even—?!”

“아파트, 아파트, UH, UH-HUH, UH-HUH!” I added with a sassy shoulder pop. “아파트, 아파트, 아파트, 아파트—”

My desk squeaked as I stomped with dramatic flair. “아파트, 아파트, UH, UH-HUUUHH!!”

The class was dead silent.

Until Sploof popped his little head out of my backpack and squeaked in rhythm: “Meeep meeep!”

Someone whispered, “She’s in her final form…”

Zak slowly slid down his chair. “I don’t know her,” he

muttered, covering his face.

But I didn’t care. The stage was mine. I was thriving. And now half the class was singing the echo like we were in a weird, unofficial Lily voice.

Life was good.

#4

We were sitting in ELA class, which, let’s be real, is a snooze-fest for me. I was staring at the clock, counting down the minutes until lunch. As I absentmindedly kicked my feet under the desk, I started thinking about… absolutely nothing at all.

And then, for no reason, I randomly whispered, “Womp womp.”

Zak’s eyes snapped to me, brow furrowed in confusion. “Did you just—”

“Womp womp,” I repeated, giving him a sly grin.

“…What is wrong with you?” Zak asked, looking at me like I’d just eaten a live cactus.

“Womp womp,” I said again, this time louder, like it was a chant I had to get out of my system.

Zak just blinked. “Lily. Please—stop it.”

I grinned, unable to resist. “Womp womp!” I threw my hands up like I’d just won a championship for saying the weirdest thing in the class.

At this point, half the class was staring at me. And of course, Zak was trying to hide his laugh, but it wasn’t working. I caught him chuckling under his breath.

“Womp womp,” I added, just because it was fun to see him squirm.

“Why do you keep doing that?!” Zak asked, laughing despite himself.