Id like to dedicated this book to all my breakups , weather it was friendship, or relationship. Thank you for helping me find myself. -Samantha Escalante

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1. You

My life was never normal ,I was always the odd one, the different one.I had breakups before but they weren't a really big deal. I gave up on searching for love, nothing really mattered to me anymore. I was independent and I didn't really believe in true love, I knew everyone was different some made bigger mistakes than others, We can't help that though we all have our bad days don't we? I never believed in the perfect one or the perfect couple , I mean yeah I dreamed of getting married, having kids and all that happily ever after stuff.What can I say I was just a kid , I didn't know love was a big deal. It all changed though, the day I meet you I didn't know what it was at first. That week I meet you I had given up on life, I wanted to disappear forever.

That day was the day I was supposed leave… you changed that the moment you walked into the classroom and our eyes met . The beats of my heart got of track for a moment. To me you was just another boy, you decided to sit beside me. My mind was spinning looking for answers. Why, why would you sit by me when all of those seats are open? I mean I didn't mind the company, but it just didn't make sense.My mind hasn't changed about leaving until you decided to talk to me. We hit it off pretty well, laughing, sharing our thoughts. Then, it struck me I was in love, you were on my mind the rest of the day I was unable to focus in class. At first I didn't think it could be true, I thought the feelings would go away.I was wrong each day we got to know each other better, my feelings grew stronger. I pushed my feelings away trying to forget about them, but everyday I found my mind wandering back to those feelings.

Those feelings kept me alive, they filled my mind and pushed out my negative thoughts.A month pass by, the feelings only grew stronger. The butterflies came but never left, soon I accepted the fact I was in love or at least it felt like love. As time passed you were the only one I looked for in a crowded room , when I speak to you my voice still stumbles on every word. It was hard to make eye contact because your eyes always sparkled in a special unique way. It was hard to tell whether you had feelings for me or not ,but it didn't matter at that point.I finally took the courage to tell you how I felt in person, I was scared. What if you didn't feel the same , what if you just laughed and moved on? Would it be a waste of time, was I stupid to think someone like you could ever love me? When I walked up to you I smiled, you smiled back but you didn't know my heart was beating at rocket speed.

I asked to speak to you alone, you followed me to a quite space. I didn't know how to tell you so I just told you as it was, I think my heart actually stopped as I waited for your response. You smiled and laughed a little , my heart broke a little thinking you didn't feel the same. Then you looked me in the eyes and with a big smile, you said I've been waiting to hear that for a very long time . Without hesitation you kissed me, My heart dropped and I believed in true love once again. You made me happy, you saved my life.

-Glad I met you-

2.The Days with you

I never imagine that someone like you, so different from everybody else could make someone like me so happy. I always thought you would always just be a dream, a myth. When we first started talking I didn't realize how much you would change me forever. I thought you would just be another one of my crushes who would make me go into my feelings. I figured you wouldn't mean nothing to me soon, I guess I was wrong. I got so high into my feelings when you came close, my heart beated fast when I talked to you. The butterflies in my stomach just wouldn't go away.You deserved the best, I couldn't figure out why someone so perfect like you would want someone like me , someone with so many flaws. You showed me how to love myself, before I could love you. Just you and me, that's how it felt

when I was with you it was like the whole world disappeared. When I was with you it was like time had stop, like all of my mistakes and flaws disappeared,it felt like a whole new world. I was just a young girl trying to have fun, confused and dazed wasn't looking for anything real. When I seen you reality finally decided to hit me, Every Time I looked into your eyes I fell in love all over again. I guess that's why I avoided your eye contact, I was scared to fall in love. When I see you, I run out of words to say. I didn't want to bother you, I just wanted your attention. Everyday you had me in some sort of feelings , I lost control of my feelings. The sky falls a little when I hear your voice, My hearts drops when you laugh. Your smile was the brightest , your smile was my favorite.

To me you didn't seem real, I was so caught up in my emotions I didn't realize what I meant to you. When we were together your eyes sparkled , like shooting stars. I pushed myself away, thinking I wouldn't ever have a chance with you. I didn't realize I was killing your happiness, when all I was worried about was my heart getting broken again. Every time I closed my eyes, I see your eyes sparkling the brightest it's ever been , your smile a little bit bigger then before, your voice more sincere. I wanted to love you more, I found love within your eyes. You showed me what it felt like to be loved , It couldn't wait no more this is our fate ...I'm yours. You're the perfect one for me, I couldn't wait. The moment you let me into your heart , nothing felt real.

I wasted no time, Although time stops when we're together. There's no end to me and you. You stole my heart, I let you see all the parts of me that weren't so pretty. With every touch you fixed them. Just give me a reason, why I should learn to love again. My heads spinning in circles. I’ve gone crazy for your love. I'll never stop loving you. Everyday we help each other love more. Our connection gets stronger each day. The butterflies just never stop as I sit back and admire God's creation.

-I love you-

3.The Days without you

I never Believed in a good-bye, I never wanted to believe it could be true. The goodbye that could change my life forever. We were the perfect two, we completed each other. Their wasn’t one day we wasn't together. I didn't know what i'd be without you, I was scared of the change. I regretted leaving you ,I beaten myself up every night crying before bed.I needed to hear your voice one more time. I feared that one day you will get tired of me like everybody else even though you promise it will never happen. We started separating slowly… then all at once a blink of an eye it was all gone. I was stupid to think that someone could love me this long. No one ever stuck around to see the good change. I apologize for everything, I blame myself. I once had everything , now I have nothing. I still hit your phone up, but you been moving on a long time ago. I didn't see what was going on,I was still holding on when you had let go a long time ago.

I wanted everyone to think I was strong, strong enough to get through it by myself. I’m not , the voices in my head want to be heard, there's so much to talk about, I just can't find the words to explain. Momma once told me to follow my heart, I did… It ended up broken. I refuse to believe that I could find someone better. You was all I needed, but I guess you had different feelings. You have my head spinning, confused and lost in a lonely world. I searched for a helping hand, unable to find one I lost hope in everything.I love you, I miss you. You didn't care, you ditched me for someone better.I had put all my time into you and now I mean nothing to you.

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