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My name is Brian Baker, and 

it is my life dream to own a teacup 

pig.

Who could wear galoshes, 

When it gets a bit soggy outside and 

read 

Chicken Soup for the Pig's Soul over 

my shoulder in the winter with a tea 

cozy for a sweater.

My name is Brian Baker, and 

it is my life dream to be a 

cat lady when my hair turns a smoky 

gray, and I have the need to get a 

perm 

every Wednesday at 6:15 

in the morning to give myself an 

appropriately 

grandmotherish 

appearance.

My name is Brian 

Baker,

and it is my life 

dream

to receive 

an enthusiastic 

group hug 

from a troupe 

of cavorting 

clowns. 

My name is Brian Baker and 

it is my life dream to own a 

baby elephant whom I could 

teach to companionably 

smoke a classic evening 

pipe of the Sherlock Holmes 

variety.

My name is Brian Baker 

and it is my life dream 

to dress up as a 

dainty 

little 

fairy 

for Halloween and collect 

a pillowcase full 

of candy to munch on 

throughout 

the remainder 

of the year. 

My name 

is            Brian Baker, 

and 

  it is my life dream to grow out my luscious beard                                                                                                                                               

                       until I can trim it into

                       creatively whimsical

                               designs                                    

My name is Brian Baker, 

and it is my life dream

to adopt several starving 

orphans, and raise them,

living tidily inside a 

large

tattered 

shoe.

My name is Brian Baker and it 

is my life dream to be a 

classic hipster and go by the 

name B.Bakes. I also would 

like to own the nicest tweed 

vest in all the land. And I 

shall only listen to the music 

of artists without a record 

label.

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