Hi i’m Ursula and I live under the sea. The time is  WELL IT WAS ONCE UPON A TIME! Now then. Many of you know the story of that bratty snob, Ariel. She is a deceitful liar. This is the real story.

Ever since I was a child, my mother showed me how to control octopus power. At first I was very uncomfortable with it. As I grew up I mastered tough stunts such as crazy whirlpools, rocket blasts, black magic and strong blades. These were quite the difficult moves to perform. I was so excited to use my magic but it is honorary octopus tradition I could only use it in emergencies. So I waited and waited in my lair. I was all grown up and my mother had gone. I only had two eels to keep me company and that wasn’t enough for me, So I took up cooking y’know. I cooked in a black cauldron that was passed down through the generations to me.

One day a little mermaid was born. It didn’t bother me so I continued cooking my squid jubilee. It smelled so good. I just hung out with my eels and let the squid flavour sink in. 

When the little mermaid was 8 she began to explore the sea on her own. She found the great barrier reef, a rare seahorse and a new sea spice that would be fabulous in my homemade pufferfish pudding. She made friends with a sweet fish named flounder and a loud little lobster called sebastian. One day she found my sunken ship (yes my sunken ship). If you swam through it, you would find yourself in my lair and that mermaid swam right through. Next, to get to my lair, you had to push aside some algae and rocks. She tumbled through the algae and landed in my lair. I looked up from my cauldron and got a fright.

“Hey you just interrupted my trout pie”, I grumbled with an annoyed tone.

“Oh i’m sorry”, exclaimed the mermaid.

“It’s ok”, I said, not really meaning it.

“I’m Ariel”, announced the mermaid brightly

“I’m ursula the baker”, I said looking up and smiling.

Suddenly out of the corner of my eye, I saw a mermaid peeking into my lair. It swam away  when I actually turned my head. What did that little infant think she was doing? It’s rude to spy on people.

“Do you have any sisters”, I asked.

“Yes, many of them”, Ariel replied.

AHA! That other mermaid was probably one of her sisters.

“Well Ariel you should probably go, please”, I muttered.

And just like that, Ariel swished out of the room. I was very suspicious now. I swam to the wall. I knew where Ariel lived. I peeked through a tiny hole in the stone wall and saw Ariel, the mermaid spying on me, all her sisters and their father. I decided to eavesdrop.

“So sisters thanks for coming, I met an ugly sea witch named Ursula. She is really mean. She made trout pie. It is cruel to eat trout. I think she is out to get me”, Explained Ariel.

“That’s mean”, Exclaimed one mermaid sister.

“I want all of you girls to stay away from her”, Said the father who I knew as king Triton.

Then the group of merpeople swam off for dinner.

Well first of all it’s rude to talk about somebody who’s listening. Trout pie is delicious and I am the kindest person you could ever meet. Why would I be out to get that little prawn when I could be making starfish tart. That little mermaid was spreading rumors about me. I had to prove that I was innocent.

The next morning I woke up before at dawn to go and make a clever comeback on that mermaid. I adjusted the buttons on my dress, brushed my octopus hair, made sure that the crabrulee wouldn’t burn, said goodbye to my eels and left. I pushed the thick algae away and wiggled through the rubble into my sunken ship. I sat down and rehearsed what I was to say.  After that I swam out to the ocean.

I looked around, nobody was up this early except for a school of Bass. I saw a tiny channel to the side of the sea central. As I tried to get in, merpeople looked at me. I blasted ink in their faces and heaved myself through. I mean how rude merpeople can be these days.

Inside the channel were gorgeous coral reefs and the water was as clear as crystals. A few clownfish swished past me. They would be scrumptious in my clownfish pudding. I proceeded through a gate at the end of the channel and found myself in King Triton’s living room. He swam out into the living room where I sat. He gasped and leaped back in surprise. Then he pulled a spear out from behind him and said, “Ariel has gone out and hasn’t returned. You must have killed her. CHARGE!” He raced toward me and I dashed through the channel, swimming as fast as my tentacles would take me. Soon I was thrown into the sea central.

I picked myself up and raced through my sunken ship. I hurled the rubble aside and flung the aglae curtains away. I plopped into my lair and looked around me frantically. Only me and my eels were there.

I had to think of a way to prove to king Triton that I hadn’t killed her. WAIT A SECOND! Behind my kitchen was the ocean computers that were connected to the seacurity cameras. It belonged to a deep sea diver who came down here to install seacurity, but he stayed underwater too long and drowned. I now use his skeleton as a mannequin for my dresses. That meant I had access to watch anybody from my lair. I logged in and searched every part of the ocean but she wasn’t there. Finally I checked the sea surface and saw Ariel talking to a prince.