This is dedicated to no one and nobody.

Preview audio:

storyj.mp/aikkck3y955q

Once upon a time in Eagleland, there was a teacher named Mr. Jissen. Mr. Jissen was a science teacher and was very entertaining. Everyone loved him and no one hated him. If they did, they got expelled.

Tsunamis are caused by earthquakes (1). You know what else is caused by earthquakes? Seismic waves (2)!!! Oh yeah!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

At the end of the day, Mr. Jissen went home. He thought about his lesson plans, his surprise party for his class, and science before he went to bed.

Party on Friday, at divergent plate boundaries, plates move away from each other(3) , at convergent plate boundaries, plates move against each other(4).

The next day, Mr. Jissen got in his car and drove to work. On his way to work, he thought about.... you guessed it, science.

At transform plate boundaries, plates slide across each other(5). at divergent plate boundaries, mid ocean ridges (6) and rift valleys can form(7). Oops, I just hit a dog.

When he got to work, Mr. Jissen settled down and taught his class. His class laughed at everything he said. That's how funny Mr. Jissen was.

Our solar system is 4.6 billion years old(8)! Also, folded mountains form when two plates collide at a convergent plate boundary(9). You know what else happens at convergent plate boundaries?

Earthquakes!!(10) Hahahahahahahahahhaha!!

That same day, when Mr. Jissen's class went to lunch, Muffin Men busted through the door to his room and took the kids. Mr. Jissen knew he had to do something about it.

Oh no! Help Mr. Jissen!

The Muffin Men took the kids to a dungeon far away. Mr. Jissen told his boss, Mr. Subway, that he had to leave. Mr. Jissen got in his soccer mom van and followed the Muffin Men.

If you don't give me back my children, a volcano on a convergent plate boundary will blow up in your face(11)!!

When he finally arrived at the dungeon, the door was closing quickly, so Mr. Jissen had to slide underneath the door. He made it and walked to his first trial, which was an ogre. The ogre asked, "What is the mesosphere?" In which Mr. Jissen replied, "It's the mantle(12). You can't outsmart me!" The ogre shrieked in pain and disintegrated.

AHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! IM DYING!!!!!!!

Haha! Loser! You're such a loser, right? Aw yeah!!

Through the next door Mr. Jissen found himself trapped by the ghost of Billy Mays. Billy asked Mr. Jissen what the Theory of Plate Tectonics is. Mr. Jissen replied, "The Theory of Plate Tectonics is the Theory that the EArth's crust is divided into many parts that glide across the mantle(13). Can't fool me!" Billy Mays' ghost said, "I don't feel so good." Then, the ghost disintegrated.