DAY 1 WEEK 1

Today, we had our first proper lesson with Prof. Bayten. I always feel intimidated by her, and this is the first time that she is my professor. We had this assignment about Filipino Family data status. And I was the first one who called to share my data. But I wasn't able to answer her follow up questions. It made me feel bad about myself. Right after the session was done, my tears fell. But I was thinking if it is really worth it to beat myself up just because of this? As I was crying silently, it made me realize that I shouldn't waste my time crying and let myself breakdown. It's not worth it, and it would make it harder to gather myself again. It made me realize how important it is to control my emotions and don't let these emotions overcome my decisions in life. If I had let myself breakdown that time, it would make it harder for me to finish other asynchronous tasks and my day would go to waste. I should be emotionally strong, it's not that my professor scolded me because of that, actually, she said that this should be a lesson for all of us to always look for more data and analyze as much as possible. It's just me that beats up myself for that little thing that wouldn't even matter. 

DAY 2 WEEK 1

Since the 2nd term start, I don't feel the same urge or motivation to do things like before. I feel like I need to change something in me, my mindset, or my routine. But today I decided to cut my hair short again. I ask my mom to cut my hair.  I just feel like I needed something changed in me to get back to reality. Since I thought that changing my sleeping schedule back to normal when there's still face to face class is impossible, I decided to go change my look.  It makes me feel light, relaxed and refreshed. 

The haircut made me feel anew. As if I never knew that I needed this until I decided to do it. Its head feels so light, literally speaking. But more than that, it helped somehow refresh my mind, and calm myself down. 

DAY 3 WEEK 1

Wednesdays are supposed to be a rest day for us students but instead, it becomes a day for us to catch up with all the requirements. I just want to rest the whole day but my requirements won't let me.  As much as I want to rest today, I decided to work on my requirements even if it is due next week.  I believe that if I let the day go without making any progress on my asynchronous tasks, I would have regretted it afterward. This helped me to somehow discipline myself, and I realized how important time is. I'v learned how to set my priorities. To always push yourself no matter how lazy you are feeling. Because once the time has passed it will never come back.

DAY 4 WEEK 1

Nothing much has happened today. But during the night, my college friends suddenly become active in our group chat. I was supposed to re-read my readings for tomorrow but I decided to take some time off and join the conversation.  I join the conversation instead of reading our reading materials and laugh even though we're not together physically. It's very unusual nowadays for us to chat or to joke around in our GC so I grab that opportunity to catch up with them. This made me smile. I just missed hanging out with them and laugh together. I've learned that it is okay to take some off. If there's a chance to catch up with your friends online, do it. During this time of pandemic sometimes we just need someone to light up our day even in just a short period of time.