This book is dedicated to...

Me...

Storyjumper...

And No One Else...

Preview audio:

storyj.mp/aie4amywb4nk

The radio is scary!

Psst! I got a secret to tell you! I am afraid of the radio. It started in April, when I laid down, and my best friend Dan was able to sneak a radio under the couch. I jumped to the height of the ceiling in a straight line when it played FULL blast. The house fell down just like that. Even my favourite bed broke! The radio station was playing HORRIBLE music. It sounded like a freight train!!!!

Hey! You! Let me tell you about a weird umpire. The umpire was once very strict and tough, until the baseball player did a cool stunt with his thumb right in front of him. The umpire lost his oxygen when it happened, which made him faint. All of a sudden, he woke up and he turned nice and never called any outs again. He ended up getting fired when he did a horrible call and lost the good teams the World Series and letting the bad teams win.

No Fair! I scored a goal last night, but it didn't count! So, today I was going to approach my Coach named Bob. It was concerning the post-in goal I scored yesterday. The ball was going to break the broken post. The crowd cheered as loud as an ocean when I scored. The cheer even made an echo. The ref didn’t allow it, because he saw the post broke, so I followed him to try and convince him to change his mind. I tried to make my throat scream. I went home, and I turned on the TV. The sports program I watched even said it should be allowed. I was a couch potato. I wrote a letter to that guy. The next day, I awoke to the sound of a rooster.

Today I found a cute sugar cube in my drink. Maybe he is an alien trying to fuel my beautiful body. Only I know how to communicate with these strange things. I wonder how far out in the universe he comes from. Maybe he’s been travelling for years! I know this is very unusual because us people have not seen no aliens yet. I’m ready to gobble it up! Maybe he is from the future! Now I'm so eager to eat! I easily killed him and ate him. I'm so brutal, right guys?

Today I'm going to the Blue Jays’ game. I've always wanted to do this! In case you didn’t know, it’s a baseball team representing Toronto. My father doesn't want to go to the game, since he didn’t understand a thing about baseball. I wasn't expecting for it to thunderstorm, but during the game it did. It started at 5 o'clock. Who’s going to help put up the roof. I wanted to do it. I haven’t done it before, and this isn’t the best time to do it. When I got back, my mom said we’re leaving. “I don’t want to, I yelled”. Oh yeah! Who’s the best? The Jays! It's impossible that they are winning 794-1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey, Hey People! Diner time! Just to let you know, I am a diner at William’s restaurant. The place was so cheap! It was only a dime! I said to myself, “This is such a nice restaurant!” I was going by the SUPA-MEGA-DELUXE-COMBO sandwich! I really think they should charge a higher price. It tasted so yummy! They had the bread carved into the wildest python shape. “I’m stuffed”, I said smiling. I would never apply for a job here, since the pay is so cheap. The diner was silent, but most restaurants are loud and noisy. I has an idea! Since William is my friend, I could eat for free! I asked William for a licence meaning I could eat free! Quite an idea! I got the licence, and I went home. Lying in the couch, I thought I was a genius.

Today is a gloomy Tuesday. My mom supposedly says I’m on “Potty Duty”, which is when I watch my annoying brother go bathroom. I’m such a rookie at this job. It’s gonna ruin my life. Enraged, I threw a spoon away. My mom understood, and she didn’t punish me. I could run away to avoid the job. I should, but the only route I knew was to go to school. I could choose to do that, but they would send me back anyway. The truth is, I was so mad I gave my friend a clue that I would cook everything in the house, and I would paint it blue.

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