Monday

Hi! My name is Milo! See, my writing is a little different when you last saw it. So, I have grudges all the time. That is why I have a diary! My parents gave me it so I could "write about my feelings" but I'd rather write to someone else. Like you! Okay, so, maybe I am not lying about the, uh, the grudges. But, I am a nitwit villager, and my village needs a young teen like me to, you guessed it, harvest wheat and all of those STUPID farm jobs. Like breeding Llamas. That sucks, and whenever you make a simple mistake, they turn at you and spit at you in the face! So that is why I think farming is the dumbest idea ever invented. Talk to you later!

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH SPIT I HATE SPIT SO MUCH UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Tuesday

So, remember how I said I hate farming? Well I yelled that into Farmer Chuck's ears, and she called my parents. I am grounded for a week, I cannot go outside, and--worst of all, I have to do farming now not 45 minutes a day, but 4 HOURS per day! That is 3 hours and 15 minutes more! UUUUUUUUUUUUGH.

Wednesday

The next day, I went to the farm with a brain screaming for help. And what I got where the overwhelming moo of cows, baa's of sheeps, squacks of chickens, and worst of all, the oink of those DISGUSTING pigs. After the first hour or so, (or at least it felt like an hour), I asked Far-

mer Chuck "How many more minutes and hours?" and she replied "3 hours and 47 minutes, 6 seconds." I screamed. It had only been 12 minutes and 54 seconds! I ran through the farm. Nobody stopped me. It was torture. Farmer Chuck ran over to me and caught my arm. She said "Come on, go farm! I'll give you free bread!" But that didn't stop me. I punched her in the face, and ran. A trickle of blood became a scar on her eye. And she still has it to this very day.

3 Weeks Later

Aahaha. It's officially Summer, and I don't have to farm. And my grounding is FINALLY over, thank hell. Time to show you outsi--oh...oh...see for yourself:

Give me your brains; you don't deserve them

And, they have evolved. I slept and then woke up to find them with enchanted diamond helmets to defend their little undead swamp faces from the sun! And last night this happened! : A villager found a chicken jockey and ran, that villagers' name was Chett, who had a wife, and in the morning, wasn't seen again. And the cartographer didn't make a map for me, he gave me this! : ------->

And get this!

He based the picture on the death of Butcher Chett!

And so, the line ran through all of town because people wanted them as a souvenir warning to never get outside again--even the farmers quit their job and started indoor butchering! 

Here ya go, folks

Then at school, we had to start writing about how much we hate zombies! Here's my report! :-------->

I just wrote what was on my mind, I guess :3.

How Much I hate Zombies

              By Milo Heffley

I hate Zombies so much I would punch them in the face if I could. Although, I think Baby Zombies (especially Zombie Villagers), are harmless!

They are mischievous , Milo!

          A+!

Friday

Okay, so, my parents STRICTLY told me to not go outside because of the Zombie War. Buuuuut, I don't follow the rules. So I went outside...and secretly snuck into a mine. But my experience in the caves suddenly came to a halt as I saw an Enderman. I equipped my Iron Sword I got from mining, I braced my shield (also from the mining), and tugged on my Iron Armor. (AGAIN, FROM THE MINING), and waiting for my foe to turn. It did. I expected it to be practice for the Zombies, but boy was I wrong! This thing screamed and charged at a shocking speed! It was teleporting! I got a hard punch in the gut.

I swiped. It lunged. "Syke!" I yelled, moving out of the way before it could bury it's Ender-Fists into my body. I didn't have much time to react. WHAP! WHAP! Two direct hits, making the Enderman teleport away. "That was easy." I breathed. I didn't know that what I said was about to become the opposite. Just as I reached into my inventory for some food, a blow from behind knocked me back. I turned. I met eyes with the Amethyst colored eyes of the Enderman. It lunged again! I swiped, stopping it from striking in MID AIR! It fell back. It teleported again. I looked behind me. No sign of it. WHAP! From behind me, smashing my face into a stone wall. Half a heart! I swiped 3 times. WHAP WHAP WHAP!

SMOKE CLOUD!

I had done it.  The wailing Enderman puffed into smoke and dropped a dark-bluish orb. An Ender Pearl! I sighed, breathing air into my lungs again. I bit down on my bread. I journeyed farther into the cave, just as I found a precious ore in this unfair world. Diamond Ore! I took out my Iron Pickaxe and started mining. I was joyful although my heart was pounding. I slayed my first mob!

Saturday